Students in my 5th period class recently had a little extra time on their hands, so naturally, we had a limerick competition. They were told specifically that the best would be particularly insulting.
The following is the best one that did not contain profanity:
My teacher is such a poser.
Really, nobody knows her.
With glasses and a book,
Like a witch with a hook,
I don’t know why the principal chose her.
-Dominik Reyes
Not awful, but if you think you can do better, throw it down in the comments below. Look here for a handy reference on how a limerick is made.
And in closing:
Your limericks will likely be bad
You’re the dullest students I’ve had.
I hope you don’t mind
That I’ve set it to rhyme,
But your writing skills are quite sad.
Are you going to let me talk to you like that? Prove me wrong below.
Mr. Lindsey made his ac-dec kids wright limericks last year.
David Rosales helped me wright this one.
Quite gross is the common old man
He sits on his warm saggy can
all he does is conplain
of his kidney stone pain
leaving out his week old bed pan… full of piss
We won cookies for that limerick!
Hey yo mister lindsey
your words weren’t all that cunning
They sounded a bit clumsy
so I suggest you start running
Before I take your money
Whoops! I meant to say we “won” cookies for that limerick.
This one’s for Lindsey.
You teach but you constantly fail
Our brains you leave scrambled and frail
there are teachers quite few
that teach worse-r than you
Half your students end up in jail
English Lit is the worts class Ive had
I can’t understand why its so bad
Lindsey thinks we love his class
frankly, we don’t give a rat’s ass
stop being a pansy and don’t be sad
School is fun
I’d rather sit in the sun
Playing it cool
A book as my tool
To teach something new to my hun
LOL this one fails so much…
I suck at writing poetry, forgive me for this trash…
D:
I go to Lindsey’s class everyday
hoping to god i don’t have to hear him say
“You’ve got an assignment to do,
better hurry before it’s 10 minutes till 2.”
in the end, I’m just going to pray.
Your hun? What’s a hun?
the sight of of Mr. Lindsey is cripple and old
he is scrawny and stiff and so ice-cold
this is no lie
so Mr. Lindsey please don’t cry
this is the truth so it must be told
p.s. please don’t fail me…..you asked for it…haha (note: this poem is not really for mr. lindsey it’s for my grandma haha just kidding)
There was a girl whose clothing was quite strewed
By the fight that left her quite nude
saw a boy come along
and unless I am wrong
you s-expected this line to be lewd
Lindsey your very hilarious
but i have to admit your also quite hidious
don’t be mad i just dont like to lie
don’t be sad and dont cry
this isn’t good but i know im not a genius
hey mr. your teaching skills are wack
you make me wanna hit you with my back-pack
im sorry, i know its not your fault
but know that i think about it is your fault
so maybe you should go back to school and youll be less of a fool.
[...] Garcia and Ricky Rodriguez both had hilarious entries in the Lindsey Lit Limerick Extravaganza. And Ricky took the Gold Star award (brought to you by Carl’s Jr.) for the following [...]
learning from you
sometimes it can be
whack and out of the
ordinary so i just
play it cool
but get the best education
from you